All aboard the Forsberg train

Hey, NHL teams! Has the salary cap, despite its significant increase, hamstrung you from making significant offseason additions? Is the local media as well as your fanbase calling for the heads of the members of your organization's front office as a direct byproduct of your offseason dormancy? Do you desire to provide fodder for the aforementioned media types to discuss as an attempt to divert them from scathing editorials extolling your incompetence? If you answered yes to any of these questions, we have just the cure for your summertime anguish. Climb aboard the Forsberg train and see what our services have to offer!

By spreading a risk-free, noncommital rumor regarding your club's pursual of the oft-injured and declining, yet high-profile and inexplicably popular talent that is unrestricted free agent center Peter Forsberg, you'll be able to appease your rabid fans and critical reporters. How exactly am I to plant such a rumor, you ask? Unless you're the Colorado Avalanche, Philadelphia Flyers or Nashville Predators, the three teams Forsberg has played for in his NHL career, and therefore already have a basis upon which to spread such a rumor, you're going to have to start from scratch.

If you're like most NHL teams, it's fairly probable that you have a Swedish player in your lineup, or at least playing for your minor league affiliate. As it is a self-evident truth that Forsberg, being a Swede, is intrinsically connected to every active Swedish hockey player (It's true!), you should be able to base your otherwise baseless rumor upon that very connection. The percentage of this scheme imploding in your face is exponentially decreased if you are successful at coaxing that player into proclaiming his desire to play with Forsberg to the very media you plan to circumvent! Because, hey, it's quite plausible that every professional athlete loves to be both overshadowed by a player that is a shell of his former self and have his team's season become a sideshow with that very player being the centerpiece!

What's that? Your Norris-winning Swedish superstar is on record saying he barely knows, let alone is in an active friendship with, Forsberg? Come on, that kind of paranoia will get you nowhere in this league! What's the chance anyone possibly remembers that? Your final step in creating the rumor, before planting it in the media, is sufficiently covering yourself should, in fact, the plan backfire. While there's a chance (greater than the chance of Mike Myers' hockey-related movie succeeding, but significantly less than the chance of Rick Tocchet not crawling back to the Phoenix bench by Christmas) Forsberg will indeed sign with your club, there's probably a better chance of him signing with another team in pursuit of his services, playing out the string with MoDo in Sweden or retiring altogether. In order to prevent any of that nasty negative press when Forsberg ends up signing with a rival or decides to throw in the towel after your near assurance of his impending arrival to town, make sure to throw in a comment regarding his health status or that his elusive and drawn out "decision-making process" may lead to him pursuing a different offer.

After sufficiently padding your story, whisper the rumor into the waiting ear of a media type. We reccomend Eklund. With his credibility in the eyes of the online hockey community rapidly declining, it's quite possible you will receive monetary compensation in return for this "insider" information. Once Eklund stirs the pot, leak the rumor to a mainstream outlet and watch your Forsberg-related rumor sizzle. Within days, your previously-furious fans and formerly-ridiculing media will adore you for your competetive pursuit of the Swedish star. If all else fails and your fanbase sees through your blatant lies, don't worry. Just take a page from fellow front-office czar Darcy Regier of the Buffalo Sabres and, despite an off-season in which your club maintained the status quo or even lost the team's most important players to the clutches of conference competitors, simply raise ticket prices. That'll give them something other than your free agent-related incompetence to repine about!

One more round for Foppa?

Woody Paige of the Denver Post's piece urging the Colorado Avalanche to bring back the face of their past, Peter Forsberg, who currently sits as a free agent without a contract contemplating retirement has been creating some buzz lately as many members of the blogosphere ponder aloud whether bringing back Forsberg for a genuine goodbye, as Paige suggests in his column, would be the best course of action for the Avs.

Obviously the primary issue involving signing Forsberg is his storied injury history. Foppa has only once played 82 games in his NHL career, back in the 1995-96 season and over his 13-year career has averaged a measly 54 games a season. In addition to the fact Forsberg will likely not be able to eclipse the 60-game mark again, his effectiveness and durability when he actually does show up to the rink is equally questionable. For the first time in his career, Forsberg averaged less than a point a game last year, scoring 55 points in 57 games with Philadelphia and Nashville. He was also not a point-a-game man for the Predators in the postseason, scoring four points in five games.

Despite all the questions, one has to agree with Paige that giving one of the greatest playoff performers and two-way players in NHL history a proper goodbye is in the best interest of not only the Colorado Avalanche, but the entire National Hockey League. Seeing Forsberg team up with Joe Sakic one more time would be delightful.

UPDATE Another Denver Post staff writer, Adrian Dater, reports that his surgically repaired right ankle's condition is encouraging and has informed a Swedish newspaper that several NHL teams remained interested in his services and that he will make a decision when he feels mentally and physically ready. Interestingly enough, Avalanche GM Francois Giguere stated that he is unsure whether he is comfortable tinkering with the Avs' lineup, despite the fact that Colorado still has about $6 million to work with under the cap.